What's Your DGAF Swim?

AquaRobAquaRob Charter Member
edited May 2012 in General Discussion
So say you were in a situation where you were unencumbered by silly things like finances and survivability along with trifles such as logic and reason, you truly didn't give an, um, care in the world. For instance you're in the best shape of your life and the doctor tells you that you have a terminal case of some mystery disease... science is stumped, you have 3 weeks to live at best. Or you've been bitten by a radioactive sea otter (this might be possible for me seeing as I swim down current from a nuclear power plant) and now have super human powers that render you impervious to sharks and boats. What horribly reckless yet fantastic adventure would you embark upon?

Me? I would build up a much more serious Frankenfish that could carry feeds and such, then buy a few more GoPros and a bunch of iPhone battery life extenders. I'd drive up to Santa Cruz and as the sun dipped below the horizon I would embark on the most ill advised yet barely possible adventure I could think of... a self guided trans-Monterey Bay swim. I'd take off in cover of night so no one spots me to call the coast guard, I don't want to waste anyone's time or money in an unnecessary rescue. I figure by daybreak you're so far into the middle of nowhere no one will be able to see you unless they have a very lucky chance encounter. I'd have GPS on my phone and a compass to figure out where I'm going (sort of) and the GPSs I usually swim with on the Frankenfish to track where I actually went. I'd set the GoPros (above and below water) to take pictures every few seconds to document how stupid I am in high definition. If successful I'd land on Del Monte beach, walk across the street to the McDonalds on the corner, hand the cashier a soggy $20 bill previously stashed in my banana hammock, and then proceed to eat the best egg mcmuffin of my life and call somebody to give me a ride back to my truck. If unsuccessful... well... it didn't really matter anyways hence me being in DGAF mode.

I don't know why I think about things like this, but I do.
Niek

Comments

  • timsroottimsroot Member
    edited May 2012
    Having grown up on Lake Erie, I want to swim from Mainland Canada to the beach at the end of the street I grew up on. I think it is a 55km or so swim.
  • IronMikeIronMike Bishkek, KyrgyzstanCharter Member
    Still trying to figure out what DGAF means.
  • It's slang for don't give a fuck.
  • Go as far up the Susquehanna as is swimmable & then start swimming down it towing a raft loaded with supplies. Anchor the raft at night and sleep in it. Since the Susquehanna is 444 miles long, I'd probably run out of time before running out of river. Maybe swim naked for the preverse h@ll of it, to boot. As the lights were going out, hop in the raft, cut the line and go off to the open water swimmers version of a viking funeral.

    -LBJ
    tortuga
    "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot
  • ForeverSwimForeverSwim Charter Member
    My #2 DGAF swim would be across Lake Tanganyika, between the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Tanzania. The lake is situated within the Albertine Rift, the western branch of the geographic feature known as the East African Rift, and is confined by the mountainous walls of the valley. It is the largest, and deepest lake in Africa and the second largest lake by volume in the world.

    I estimate it would be about 24+ miles across at it's shortest point. My research of the swim has given me a few set-backs; 1. The heat, 2. Eastern Congo is one of the most violent regions in the world (I won't go into detail the crimes against humanity), and 3. The coastline of this lake is home to crocs, large cats and the worst of all, hippos, which kill more men per year than any other animal in the world! I'm pretty sure a swim from a dug-out canoe and heavily armed guards in this part of the world would be quite an adventure!

    #1 DGAF swim is currently in the making, but I cannot let that one slip just yet ;)
    tortuga
    www.darren-miller.com
    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania U.S.A.
  • WaterGirlWaterGirl Charter Member
    I'd swim down the Missouri, wash into the Mississippi and into the Gulf of Mexico. (In my fantasy, the Mississippi is muddy yet non-toxic).

    My Uncle Dud, whom I never met, wanted his ashes scattered in the Mississippi. His 2nd wife, whom we'd never heard of, sent them to us. The doorbell rang, and my brother shouted, "Uncle Dud's here!" My mom took us to the beautiful Chain of Rocks bridge. We were decked out in our Sunday best. There were a bunch of scary dudes fishing and drinking beer. She made us sing several hymns and asked one of the scary dudes to take our picture. You've never seen a scowl like the ones my brother and sister and I are wearing in that picture. It's my mom's favorite family pic.

    That event inspired me to ask for my cousins to scatter my ashes at the Chain of Rocks bridge in their Sunday best and sing a few hymns. If they're embarrassed, they're doing it right.

    But swimming away on my own power and washing away after it wanes sounds better. I'd have to think of another way to embarrass my cousins, though.
  • My #2 DGAF swim: In PA, there is almost nowhere to swim "outside the lines" without getting fined. Therefore, I'd like to visit as many lakes as possible, swim them and let the fines accumulate. Definately would do these buck naked, just to annoy more people. After I was gone the authorities could spend endless time/money fighting with my lawyer, who is a relative, and try to get the fine money from my estate - over her dead body.

    -LBJ
    "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot
  • WaterGirlWaterGirl Charter Member

    Definitely would do these buck naked, just to annoy more people.

    As long as you're a few yards away from people, I doubt anyone but your escort would notice. It wouldn't even have to be a DGAF move.
  • AquaRobAquaRob Charter Member

    As long as you're a few yards away from people, I doubt anyone but your escort would notice.

    and that's why you'd have to tow a boombox while backstroking... at least when you're passing lakefront houses with big windows, haha
  • The Middle Branch Reservoir in Brewster, NY is a NYC reservoir. They let people fish on them, but not swim in them, but I could walk to it and get miles of swimming in otherwise. Tough to drive by it every time I go to a much smaller, disused reservoir. Could do a little portage and go on to the even bigger Croton Falls Reservoir. I wouldn't make it a 1000 yards before someone called 911.
    Or maybe a Manhattan bootleg!
  • ChickenOSeaChickenOSea Charter Member
    I'd like to swim from Manly Beach to Freshwater beach, walk up the beach to the shops, have a meat pie and a milkshake then swim back.
    Also, Byronesque adventures in the canals of Venice would be fun (assuming dirty water's no issue).
  • ChickenOSeaChickenOSea Charter Member
    Come to think of it, I've already done a DGAF of sorts. In Bonaire, a swim buddy and I decided to do an impromptu circumnavigation of Klein Bonaire. We informed the very disinterested dive master of our plans, put on fins (what the hell), jumped in at Captain Don's and swam around the island with a water bottle each stuffed in our suits. We swam up to a dive boat at one point, climbed aboard and got a drink. I think it took about 5 hours but that included a seasick break for me on the rough side.
  • bobswimsbobswims Charter Member
    1) Climb K2
    2) Ski across Antartica (fantastic, but not reckless - just something I wanted to do 30 years ago)
    3) Swim around Long Island NY. Begin at the Battery stopping at Jones Beach, Montauk Point and Oyster Bay to take sleep breaks. Again not reckless - but hard to imagine being able to complete it.
    4) Ride a bike in Afghanistan from the Kyber pass, through, MazaI Sharif to Heret and then back through Chagcharan. I'd skip the south road through Kandahar. I went through there years ago and it wasn't that interesting, although it would definitely increase the already high reckless quotient.
  • @bobswims, I think you can ski across Antarctica, with less of it to ski and more guide outfits to assist.

    I'd probably be satisfied with a modest EC swim, and would expect to set a new low bar for time, but would like to return alive, else what's the fun?
  • david_barradavid_barra Charter Member
    One of these days I'm going to swim across the Ashokan reservoir. Its not long, its not cold, but as it is NYC water supply, comes with a guarantee that I will be chased by NYPD, DEP and a few other agencies. I will be making my one phone call to @Aquarob who will certainly bail me out since I will be sporting a zebra-striped Rob Aquatics speedo. (nyc cops love zebra stripes)
    It will be on a day when I DGAF!
    ...anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
  • WaterGirl said:

    Definitely would do these buck naked, just to annoy more people.

    As long as you're a few yards away from people, I doubt anyone but your escort would notice. It wouldn't even have to be a DGAF move.
    Between my fat butt and the fact that I don't tan, but burn, I think everyone would notice the large, radioactive-red rear end monster in the water.

    -LBJ
    "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot
  • AquaRobAquaRob Charter Member
    @david_barra I would be deeply honored if you were arrested whilst swimming in a Rob Aquatics speedo... that's how I would know I've really made it in the exciting and lucrative world of swim blogging :)
  • ChickenOSeaChickenOSea Charter Member
    edited August 19
    I'll wear my RobAquatics when I do my super secret pre-deportation Water Crib swim here in Chicago
  • Free @AquaRob RobAquatics Speedoes for everyone! Even the girls!
  • AquaRobAquaRob Charter Member
    Hitchhiking, law breaking, deportations, and toplessness? My suits are becoming a bad influence...
  • bobswimsbobswims Charter Member
    @ViveBene
    I guess I should have been more specific. It would be solo and with the condition that I don't run into any guided groups, and they remove the spaceship permeant base they have constructed there. I saw it on TV and they were interviewing workers. During the interview 2 woman on skies arrived at the pole. It would have been so disappointing to me to run into that. If there was a base it would have to look the one in the original 1951 "The Thing from Another World" movie. Scariest movie I ever saw growing up.
  • evmoevmo San FranciscoAdmin
    edited August 19
    One of my favorite Forum threads... no bumps since May 2012.

    Any more DGAF swims out there?
  • swimmer25kswimmer25k Member
    edited August 19
    Whirlpool Rapids in the Niagara River where Matthew Webb died. If I make it, I'm a hero. If not, I DGAF. Bury me next to Matt and name a wetsuit legal triathlon after me.
  • evmoevmo San FranciscoAdmin
    edited August 19

    Whirlpool Rapids in the Niagara River where Matthew Webb died.

    Well played @swimmer25k! That's the DGAF swim to end all DGAF swims. Historically significant, and just as lunatic in 2014 as it was in 1883.
  • evmo said:

    Whirlpool Rapids in the Niagara River where Matthew Webb died.

    Well played @swimmer25k! That's the DGAF swim to end all DGAF swims. Historically significant, and just as lunatic in 2014 as it was in 1883.
    Want to crew for me?
  • Swim the EC as a 'told you so' moment to my family then cycle across Europe, central asia and across China to Shanghai. If there's time, row the Atlantic.

    That actually is my bucket list, the least likely is the WC, the othr 2 are very doable !!
  • Driving down from the coast and letting my mind wonder...

    If I were dying, and if swimming was at the top of my list, then I'd have to go for a trans Atlantic. Granted it wouldn't conform to "rules" I'd have a supply boat and I'd drag a flotation device upon which I could sleep. If I die in the effort, well it's my final wish that I be buried at sea anyway (and none of this ashes stuff either, I want to be ocean food. If I died and was off loaded in the Sargasso, that'd be pretty much prefect.) but making it across- Brazil to Liberia- would be an acceptable alternative.

    Another swim (I don't know if people do this one) would be to swim out with the tide in the Bay of Fundy and keep swimming out until the tide turns, then swim back with in it. Do people do that? It sounds like fun, but then I'm really talking from a near zero experience perspective. 50 foot tides though! And they say that it moves REALLY fast as in if you are on the flats and can see it coming, you better run if you want to stay dry. Seems like it would be like body surfing, for 12 hours!

    It's a long drive down from the coast. Thanks for the diversion.
    Spacemanspiff
  • flystormsflystorms Dallas/Ft Worth, TXMember
    Oh the Bay of Fundy would be a hoot! Great idea!
    Dredpiraterobts
  • j9swimj9swim new york Member
    i'm a homebody so i would swim from the northern most point of the Hudson to the tip of Manhattan, across to Governor's island, through Buttermilk Channel, under the Verrazano, along the coast of NJ, circumnavigate LBI, cool down in Barnegat Bay and end at sunset for a cocktail at The Dutchman's.....
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